Mommy guilt is real!  As a working mom, you know the guilt that comes with leaving your baby to return to work.  Even if you find the perfect daycare or leave the baby with a trusted relative, you are bound to question your decision.

Although it’s real, you can avoid mommy guilt by being aware of your thoughts.  This time around, I was determined to avoid the “guilt trap.” I hope these 5 strategies will help you do the same:

1 – Be rational.  One of the most common forms of mommy guilt is to feel guilty about missing your baby’s firsts.  If you’re worried about missing important milestones, ask the person caring for your child to record it for you.  Or, celebrate the first time you see it. I mean, it is the first time for you. If you’re sentimental, the first time you experience your child rolling over, walking, or talking is what matters most.  But, let’s face it!  We can’t be with our kids all day every day.  You could run to the store and miss out on a first step or first word.  If you wouldn’t feel guilty about it then, you shouldn’t feel guilty about working to help support your family.

2 – Trust yourself.  As you get ready to go back to work, mommy guilt may have you questioning yourself – Am I a bad mother? What if he doesn’t remember me?  Will our bond change? The answer it NO!  While I had no desire to be a stay-at-home mom, going back to work was not easy for me.  I even felt guilty for not wanting to be a stay-at-home mom. I wasn’t concerned about my child’s safety.  I just didn’t want to miss watching him grow.

Kick mommy guilt to the curb and know you have done your due diligence before you hand your child over to a caretaker, whether it’s a daycare or a relative.  When I went back to work, I had a list of instructions and reminders.  And, my great-aunt and grandmother were babysitting my child at my home! No, they were not going to do everything the way I would do it.  But, I knew they would take great care of my child.  Trust those mommy instincts!

3 – Ignore criticism.  The worst form of mommy guilt comes from other people.  If someone tries to make you feel guilty for not living up to their standard of “momming,” cut the conversation short.  You don’t need to feel guilty for failing to meet someone else’s expectations of being a mom.

There were people who told me I needed to stay at home at least a year, if possible.  Well, it wasn’t possible!  We are a two-income family and hadn’t planned to be out of work for a year.  And, those same people were not offering to pay our bills.  Plus, I didn’t want to stay home for that long.  No matter what you do, someone will find fault.  So, do what’s best for you and your family without feeling guilty about it.

4 – Give yourself credit.  If you listen to the mommy guilt voices, you’ll believe you’re doing it all wrong.  Not true! You fed and clothed someone else before you fed and clothed yourself.  You prepped bottles and packed a diaper bag before even attempting to get yourself ready for work.  And, if your kids are school age, you will spend a substantial amount of time assisting with homework at the end of your work day. Mom, you’re a Rockstar!  The fact that you’re able to work two jobs makes you amazing and worthy of credit. So, don’t feel guilty for doing it.

5 – Be thankful.  A great way to silence the mommy guilt is to focus on the positives.  I am thankful I was able to initially leave my son with family and later find a trustworthy daycare.  Knowing your child is in a safe environment will allow you to focus on your job and do it well.  Be thankful for the opportunity to work on your personal or professional goals.  Having a space outside of being “mommy” will help you remember yourself as an individual with dreams and life goals. Don’t feel guilty for having the courage to run after your life goals while raising a kid.  Be thankful.

6 – Keep it real.  Most mommy guilt centers around unrealistic expectations.  Be honest about what you want your life to look like and embrace the possibilities of what is yet to come.  Don’t shy away from a leadership position, accepting a promotion, or taking an out of town trip if it’s really what you want to do. Just be honest with yourself, your partner, and your job about what you will need.

I felt mommy guilt for having to go out of town with my job when my son was only seven months old.  I was so worried he would miss me or wonder where I was.  But, he was just fine!  As a six-year-old, he doesn’t even remember the times I’ve had to leave town for work.  I also took a new position when he was nine months.  Before I took the position, I was honest with my employer and my husband about my expectations and my need for proper work-life balance.

7 – Be Empowered.  There’s a familiar saying – Happy wife. Happy life.  The same can be said for moms.  Whether the work you do is your passion or simply a job, feeling guilty about it certainly won’t make you a better mom.  Be empowered knowing you are working to help your family financially and setting a great example of a strong work ethic for your kids. You don’t have to delay your professional goals until your children reach adulthood.  You just need to find a balance which works for you and your family. Just remember, mommy guilt has no place in the equation.

As a working mom, the mommy guilt can be overwhelming if you entertain it.  So, don’t!  Only you know what’s best for you and your family.  So, leave the guilt behind and continue to live your best life in balance!

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How do you stay balanced as a busy mom?  There usually aren’t enough hours in the day and rarely enough of you to go around. 

There’s no one way to staying balanced as a busy mom. But, you can take simple steps to achieve a healthy work-life balance.

1 – Prioritize

 As a working mom, you can confuse what must be done with what you want to get done.  To help me stay balanced, I make a list of the top three things I must do for the day. 

Then, I tackle the one I’m least looking forward to completing.  This strategy for prioritizing is outlined in Brian Tracy’s book, Eat That Frog!  If you want to stay balanced, you must be realistic about what you can do and prioritize your day.

If you’re currently working from home (like me!), having a healthy work-life balance is more important than ever. Sometimes, the things that seem urgent really aren’t.

For example, I have two laundry baskets of clean clothes waiting to be folded. But, I also have more important tasks on my list that need to be done before folding those clothes.

I will eventually get to the laundry baskets, but it won’t be today! By prioritizing your tasks, you save yourself undue stress by focusing on what’s most important.

2 – Be Grateful

Having an attitude of gratitude is a great way to stay balanced as a busy mom.  It’s tough to manage work deadlines, homework assignments, doctor appointments, soccer practice, and the grocery list.

Additionally, when you’re going through difficult times, you take on added pressure. Whether you’re out of work or facing a lot of uncertainty, it would do you good to focus on the positives in your life.

When you’re a busy mom, it’s easy to focus on what you need to do and what hasn’t been done.  If you’re not careful, you can wind up complaining and feeling negative. 

Sometimes, you need to take a moment to stop and be grateful. 

Remembering what you have and the important people in your life is a great way to stay balanced.  You can start by making a list of all the positives in your life.  When you’re feeling negative, take out the list to help shift your perspective.

3 – Smile

If you want to stay balanced, don’t underestimate the power of a smile. It costs nothing and it can be an instant mood changer.

I try to smile as much as possible because it makes me feel better and often leads to laughter.  And, laughter is just good for the soul.  When I wake up, I know I’m winning because someone else didn’t wake up that morning. 

If you watch the news, you’re bound to find a ton of reasons to complain, think the worst, or even feel down. So, limit your content!

I try to focus on the positive and not to sweat the small stuff.  I don’t worry about the things I can’t control. Instead, I focus on what I can control – my attitude and how I respond to the world around me.

You can stay positive in any situation. Check out my article!  Putting on a smile is just a simple way to remind yourself to continue to live your best life in balance. 

4 – Rest

You’re a busy mom with a lot to do.  But, rest is essential if you want to stay balanced. 

I have a full-time job outside of the home (inside for now!), a blog, two kids, a husband, and a dog!  When I don’t get proper rest, I’m cranky, prone to sickness, and no good to anyone. 

It’s not a badge of honor to work, work, work, and never rest.  In fact, it’s dangerous.  You don’t want to wait until your body demands the rest.  Instead, be proactive and incorporate rest into your routine.

Do yourself a favor and unplug! Lately, I’ve spent more time on my computer than ever. However, I know when my body has had enough. When I find myself staring aimlessly at the screen, I know it’s time to unplug.

Having a healthy work-life balance includes taking time to renew, refresh, and re-energize.  And, when the boundaries of work and home are blurred, you need to make finding time to rest a main priority.

Each week, you should have at least one day where you take time to rest and nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Whether you make it a family day, a sleep-in and lounge day, or a (modified at-home) spa day, you need rest to stay balanced.

5 – Pamper Yourself

As a working mom, you cater to your family and what they need.  But, how often do you cater to yourself?

Sometimes, you need to pamper yourself to stay balanced and centered.  Doing something for yourself can be rewarding and exactly what you need to help you make it through the day, week, or month.

I look for ways to make my son and husband feel special and celebrated.  Sometimes, I need to do the same for myself.  Whether it’s going to get a massage or simply giving yourself a facial or pedicure, take the time to give yourself some special attention.

There are a lot of simple ways to pamper yourself at home. Paint your toenails. Have a cup of your favorite tea / glass of wine in silence. One of my favorite ways is to take a bubble bath with aromatherapy candles.

Do I threaten or bribe my kids to leave me alone? Yes – and, it’s well worth it!

You don’t always have to travel or spend money to practice self-care. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that help you stay balanced.

6 – Self-Reflect

Keeping a journal your thoughts is a great way to engage in self-reflection. Journaling helps you to process your thoughts and emotions. It’s also an easy way to keep list of your goals and accomplishments. 

Reflecting on your progress is a great way to stay balanced and assess changes in your life.  There are some things you will write on paper that you won’t say out loud. 

If you’re going through a challenging time or if you’re in a period of transition, writing your feelings down might help you gain some clarity.

When I go back and review journal entries from previous years, I can see a lot of growth. However, it’s also a great reminder that I’ve made it through difficult situations before.

Maybe you don’t want to discuss how you’re feeling with your spouse? Maybe you’re not sure how you feel?

Taking the time to deal with your honest, raw emotions is a great strategy to help you maintain a healthy work-life balance.

7 – Exercise

Your physical and mental health are an essential part of staying balanced. Exercise as a way to reduce stress and increase your energy level. 

As a busy mom, you might not think you have time to workout. Or, you may think you can only get a good workout at the gym. 

However, you don’t need a gym or a lot of time to exercise. You just need to be creative and have a positive attitude.

You can exercise by making simple adjustments to your daily routine. Just adding a 20-30 minute daily walk or taking the stairs can boost your mood, energy level, and overall health. You can also make sure you get a minimum of 10,000 steps a day with a fitness tracker. 

For me, exercise is vital. It is my go-to stress-reliever. When I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, I exercise to feel better.

If you’re not sure where to begin, checkout my 5-minute workout for busy moms. It will help jump start your exercise routine.

8 – Read

Reading is another great way to stay balanced because it can help slow things down.  Whether it’s for enjoyment or personal growth, reading can be a great stress reliever. 

When I read for leisure, I enjoy crime thrillers or dramas because they provide a great escape from reality. And, who doesn’t need an escape?

However, I also read for personal growth.  Some of the best books I’ve read to help you stay balanced are The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, and I Dare You by Joyce Meyer.   

As a working mom, you need an outlet to help you de-stress from all the different hats you wear.  Picking up a good book may help you rekindle an old hobby.

I have to read a lot for my job and with my kids. So, when I take time to read a book for myself, it’s a real treat!

Whether it’s a gossip magazine, a self-help book, or a juicy novel, reading is a good way to maintain balance.

9 – Embrace Imperfections

We all have something we’d like to change about our appearance or personality.  It could be your thighs or your nose.  Maybe you’d like to be more outspoken or less sensitive. 

Whatever the case, embracing your imperfections is a great way to stay balanced. If you focus on everything you don’t like about yourself, you’re not going to feel great about yourself. 

Having a negative self-image will impact your confidence and feelings of self-worth.  So, focus on what you love about yourself and work on the rest. 

I used to get teased about my lips.  And, now people pay to get fillers to look like me!  If you don’t like your thighs, make your way to the stairs or start doing squats. 

But, if you’re not going to do the squats, find clothing that doesn’t highlight your thighs.

If you want to be more outspoken, try speaking up more with your friends and family. Or, embrace the fact that you like to observe what’s going on rather than be the center of it all.

When it comes to parenting, don’t be too hard on yourself.  If you make a mistake, own it and move on. 

To help you stay balanced, just remember, no one has it together. We are all imperfectly perfect at doing the best we can do.

10 – Take a Day Off

Taking a personal day for yourself is probably the most important way to stay balanced. As a working mom, you really have two full-time jobs, if not more. 

There’s the job you do that pays the bills.  And, then there’s being a mom.   Too often, the jobs overlap and it’s hard to find personal time for yourself.

However, if you don’t take a day voluntarily, your body will eventually force you to do it. 

Wouldn’t you rather take a day to enjoy it rather than having to take off because you’re sick?  If you have personal time, schedule a day off to do whatever makes you happy.

You’ll be surprised at how renewed and refreshed a day of personal enjoyment can make you feel. If you’re concerned about losing the time – ask yourself, In six months, will it matter that I took the day off?

If you’re currently working from home, you may not need to use your personal days. But, you should set clear boundaries.

Spend a Saturday in your pajamas binge-watching your favorite show. Let the kids eat whatever is in the house and don’t worry about!

Put something fun on the calendar – happy-hour with friends (virtual, if necessary), watching your favorite movie, or family game night!

You can maintain a healthy work-life balance by making some simple changes to your daily routine. 

To stay balanced as a busy mom, make yourself a priority and continue to live your best life in balance!

Disclaimer: You should consult your physician or another health care professional before starting any fitness routine or making changes in your diet. Any health, fitness, or nutritional information offered is designed for educational purposes only.  Do not rely on this information as a substitute or replacement for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While exercising, if you experience faintness, dizziness, pain, or shortness of breath, you should stop exercising immediately and seek professional medical assistance.

The post How to Stay Balanced: 10 Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms appeared first on .

My posts usually contain affiliate links.  If you click on a link and make a purchase, I may get a commission at no extra cost to you.

Hey working mom – with work, kids, hubby, and the dog to think about, it’s no wonder you need to reduce stress!  There’s no secret to stressing less.  But, you must be willing to make yourself a priority.  Here are 10 tips to help you reduce stress and enjoy your life:

1 – Exercise more.  I know it sounds counterproductive, but it works.  When you exercise you release endorphins, also know as “feel good hormones.” Those endorphins are responsible for helping to lift your mood and producing a calming effect overall.  For me, exercise has become my go-to for reducing stress.  If I want to reduce stress, I hit the pavement running, pop in a dance video, or lift some weights to sweat it out.  Trust – after a good sweat session, whatever you were stressed about is a distant memory.

 2 – Meditate.  No, you don’t have to sit for hours or chant if you don’t want to!  You can start by finding a comfortable, preferably, quiet space to sit or lie down.  My kids-free zone and go-to space is my closet.  Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breathing.  Try to focus on the process of inhaling and exhaling. You only need to do it for a few minutes to feel more relaxed.  The more you do it, the longer you’ll be able to focus.  To reduce stress, just take a few minutes to meditate before entering a stressful situation.

3 – LOL.  You can reduce stress by making a conscious decision to laugh out loud every day.  We all have that girlfriend that makes us laugh harder than any comedian ever could.  Keep her number on speed dial.  On your list of things to do, you need to have laughter at the top of the list.  Whether it’s my kids being naturally silly or a punch-line in my favorite sitcom, I get a daily dose of laughter.  I believe it when the Bible says, “laughter is good medicine.”  The more you laugh, the easier it is to let go of the stresses of the day.

4 – Journal your thoughts.  There are some things you will write on paper that you’ll never say out loud.  Because of that, journaling your thoughts is a great way to reduce stress.  You can journal in a notebook or you can get a guided journal.  If you’re stressed or worried about a problem, writing your thoughts allows you to process what you’re feeling.  There’s no right or wrong way to journal.  I just write like I’m writing a letter to myself or to God. 

5 – Make a to-do list. Ever lay in bed thinking about all you need to do at work the next day? Just knowing you have so much to get done between work and family can leave you feeling stressed.  Learn to reduce stress by making a list of what you need to do.  Before I leave work, I write my to-do list for the next day and post it.  Not only does it help me stay organized, but it keeps me from thinking about the job when I’m with my family.  Likewise, if you make a list before you go to sleep, you’re less likely to feel stressed about all you need to get done.  The real way to reduce stress – cross each task off the list once it’s done!

6 – Unplug.  Yeah, social media is great. But, it can be information overload.  And, once you get sucked in, you can waste more time than you expected.  Doesn’t it seem like everyone is living it up and having a ball? If you’re not careful, you can compare someone’s Instagram story with your real life.  So, just unplug for a while. Reduce stress by having a cut off time for your electronic devices. There are times when we turn off all electronics, including television, to just connect as a family.  Taking a break to unplug can be a great stress-reliever.

7 – Take a warm bath or shower.  I love a bubble bath!  You can easily reduce stress by taking a relaxing bath or shower. After a tough day at work and an hour of homework with my son, my favorite thing to do is light some candles and run a bubble bath.  Having a few minutes to myself in a tranquil setting is a great way to reduce stress.  Water has a calming effect.  So, if you’re not into bubble baths, you can still take a relaxing shower to help you get centered.  You can even elevate your experience by using scented candles and your favorite shower gel.

8 – Do something mindless. My guilty pleasure is watching drama-filled reality shows.  Since I try to stay drama free, watching someone else’s drama is a great stress reliever for me.  Whether it’s a game on your phone or catching up with the latest celebrity gossip, it’s good to have some mindless entertainment.  My job requires a lot of mental energy and it often leaves me mentally drained.  When I need to recharge, I try to do things that don’t require a lot of thought.  If you want to reduce stress, incorporate some mindless entertainment into weekly your routine.  

9 – Read for leisure.  Between reading for work and reading with my kids, I rarely have time to curl up with a good book.  But, when I do, it’s one of my favorite things! Reading for leisure is a great way to reduce stress.  When you read for pleasure, it allows you to escape what’s going on in your everyday life temporarily.  If I’m reading a James Patterson novel, I’m not thinking about my job or my bills because I’m too busy trying to figure out who did it and why.

 10 – Nurture your soul.  As a working mom, it’s easy to worry about the health and well-being of everyone else.  It can be easy to forget to nurture yourself.  You can reduce stress by paying attention to what you need.  Make sure you are surrounding yourself with positivity.  Be aware of negative energy and avoid negativity.  If you have a co-worker who complains all the time, that’s probably not the person to have lunch with every day.  Every morning, I try to start my day by listening to a positive message or reading scripture or a daily devotional. Starting my day on a positive note, helps me to stay centered and keeps me from getting stressed over simple things.

You can easily reduce stress by making simple changes to your daily routine.  Follow these ten tips to stress less and continue to live your best life in balance.

Disclaimer: You should consult your physician or another health care professional before starting any fitness routine or making changes in your diet. Any health, fitness, or nutritional information offered is designed for educational purposes only.  Do not rely on this information as a substitute or replacement for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While exercising, if you experience faintness, dizziness, pain, or shortness of breath, you should stop exercising immediately and seek professional medical assistance.

The post How to Reduce Stress: 10 Tips for Working Moms appeared first on .

Hey, working mom – your time is valuable!  Four simple time management tips can literally change your life.  Your worst enemy is not the mother-in-law who won’t stop criticizing your parenting skills.  Well, she’s close!  But, your worst enemy is mismanaged time. If your day comes to an end and you have no idea what you did, you probably need to improve your time management.  No worries!  Make your life easier by following these simple time management tips :

1– Set Realistic Goals

 As a working mom, there is always more to do than the 24 hours will allow. Still, there are only 24 hours in the day.  One of the quickest ways to get out of balance is to overbook yourself.  As a working mom, I have two full-time jobs – the one outside of the home and being a wife and mom when I get home. Not to mention my job as a writer and blogger!  Let’s be clear – something is not going to get done!

If I have a writing deadline, I’m making easy meals which allow for leftovers or we’re eating out.  When I set my weekly exercise goals, I know I won’t have the time or energy to exercise every day.  While I prefer to exercise in the mornings, with an infant, a six-year-old, and a job that starts at 7:00 a.m., it’s not happening! Since my weekends are more flexible, that’s the time when I focus on my workouts.

If you want to improve your time management, be realistic about the  amount of time you have.   Don’t overextend yourself by setting goals which will be impossible for you to accomplish.  It will only leave you frustrated and overwhelmed.

2 – Eat the Frog

There’s a quote by Mark Twain that says if you eat a frog first thing in the morning, everything is uphill from there.  Well, the idea is to do the thing that you want to do least – first.  If you tackle that thing  first, the rest of your to do list should be easy peezy lemon squeezy!  When I keep delaying a task, whether it’s cleaning the fridge, organizing the closet, or folding laundry, it just takes longer.  It’s also more stressful because it’s in the back of my mind as something I need to do.  Once I can cross it off the list, I feel much better.

Believing you have all the time in the world to get things done is like believing you have all the money in the world to spare. For years, I struggled with time management.  If I had a deadline, I rarely started early.  I really thought I worked better under pressure.  Lies!  Now that I understand time management, I’d rather get it done and leave time to correct any mistakes – minus the pressure!

3 – Be Intentional

Okay, working mom, before you start your day, you should know your goals are and have a plan of action.  My most productive days at work and home are when I know exactly what I plan to do and have actually put together a plan to get it done.  If I need to cook after work, I have a meal in mind and the ingredients prepped or at least ready.  If I have a major project at work, I make a list of what I need to get done and prioritize the list.

You can even plan your “free time” (I’m not being sarcastic) to maximize every minute.  Good time management requires you to be intentional.  As a writer, I always carry a notebook in my car or purse.  And, I use my phone to take notes!  While I’m waiting at the doctor’s office, I use the time to brainstorm or write. As I’m ironing my son’s uniforms, I usually catch up with a friend or watch a show on DVR. When I’m exercising, I try to listen to a podcast or an inspirational teaching.

It might sound like I’m multi-tasking, but I call it maximizing.  I’m making the most of every minute by getting all I can get out of it.  That also means being still and present in the moment. I know, it’s very hard to do!  But, when my six-year-old asks me to watch a movie or spend time with him, I am all in.  When my husband and I spend time together, it is purposeful and without the distraction of electronic devices. Every day, I intentionally walk my dog without my cell phone because it’s an opportunity to breathe in my surroundings. Be intentional about how you’re spending your time to be more effective.

4 – Develop a Schedule

I’m a list kind-of girl.  I love to make a list and cross out each task once it’s done.  If you have an assistant at work, he likely keeps a calendar or schedule with all your meetings and appointments.  You can do the same for your family life and personal goals.  Developing and maintaining a schedule will help you with your time management.  And, don’t forget to put yourself on the schedule!

Each day, you should set aside some time just for you.  It could be a relaxing bubble bath, a phone conversation with a friend, a heart-pounding workout, or engaging in some mindless entertainment.  Do something which makes you feel happy, relaxed, calm, or centered.  If you see there is time left unmanaged, you can be more intentional about how you use it.  Having a plan of action will help you achieve more balance in your life.

You can easily improve your time management by setting realistic goals, avoiding procrastination, being intentional, and developing a schedule.  These simple time management tips will help you maximize your time and continue to live your best life balance.

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You’re going back to work! But, you’ve gotten used to being up at 2 a.m. with your baby, walking around in a milk stained tee shirt, and doing absolutely nothing to your hair! What do you do?

Maybe you’re excited to have the chance to leave the house and get back to a structured routine. Maybe you feel guilty about leaving your baby with someone else while you work. Or, maybe you’re sad to have to leave your baby at all.  Either way, you can expect to feel a range of mixed emotions and it’s okay.  Here are six things you can do to make your transition easier:

1 – Give yourself time. Whether it’s getting up earlier to play with the baby or pump before you go to work, give yourself a little extra time.  The last thing you want is to feel rushed or frantic on those first days back to work.  It will probably take you longer to get ready, so plan for it.  There are bottles to be made, diapers to be changed, and bags to be packed.  If you must drop your baby off at a daycare or sitter, allow time to review instructions and for a lingering goodbye.

If you are breastfeeding, you may want to nurse the baby before you leave.  On my first day back, I wanted to spend some one-on-one time with my son before I left.  So, I got up a little earlier to breastfeed and just gaze into his eyes.  The extra time with him definitely made me feel better.

2 – Expect change.  Your mornings, your workday, and your evenings will feel different after having the baby – and, they should!  Don’t expect to go back to the schedule you had before the baby because that schedule won’t work anymore.  When you have an additional person to consider, life changes.  Before having my first son, I had hours of time after work to spend on exercise, writing, or whatever I wanted to do.  Once he was born, I had to establish a schedule based on the time I wanted to pick him up from daycare, get him settled at home, and leave time to connect with my husband.  Now, that I have two kids, I am even more intentional with my schedule.

Initially, you might feel like you’re on autopilot and just trying to get through the day.  But, eventually, you’ll adjust to your new routine.

3 – Ease back into it. If you work Monday through Friday, go back to work on a Thursday instead of Monday.  Going back to work later in the week allows you to ease back into working with a weekend break around the corner. It will also help reduce any anxiety you feel about having to make it through an entire week.  Two days of work with two days off doesn’t sound so bad, right?  With my second son, I went back to work the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  The next day was a teacher planning day, so there was hardly anyone at the school.  Then, I had Thursday through Sunday off.  Knowing I would have several days off to spend time with my baby made me feel less anxious about going back to work. So, be strategic when you choose your return date.

4 – Start daycare early. If you can, start daycare the week before you return to work.  Check with the daycare or sitter to see if you can leave the baby for a few hours or just a couple of days the first week.  Starting daycare early will help you and the baby adjust to the new routine.  It will also give your baby the chance to get familiar with his new surroundings.  It will also give you time to determine if it’s a good fit.  With my first son, I initially started daycare three times a week.  Although my aunt is living with us and caring for my second son, I asked her to come a week early so we could all get adjusted.  You can avoid the stress of going back to work and leaving your baby if you start the process early.

5 – Set boundaries. Expect your co-workers to ask about your experience or ask to see pictures when you return.  Set boundaries about what you’re willing to share so you don’t feel awkward or frustrated when asked.  Whether you had an amazing birth experience or one that was frightening and stressful, it’s your personal experience.  Decide ahead of time what you are willing to discuss, if anything at all.  If you’re going to share pictures, select the ones you plan to share and put them in a folder so you don’t have to scroll through your camera roll each time someone asks. People may also ask how you feel about being back at work or leaving the baby.  Again, it’s your personal experience. Keep it simple by saying –I’m grateful and just enjoying this phase of life. 

You may also need to set boundaries about what you’re willing to do.  I decided to let go of certain responsibilities at my job because I knew they would require more time than I had to give.  While it cost me a couple of thousand dollars, having my time was more important.  I used to stay late after work and leave feeling frustrated and out of balance.  Now, I leave on time because I’m determined to stick to my family schedule.

6 – Take care of yourself. Between work and family, it’s easy to ignore your own needs. Try to do something for yourself every day – a bubble bath, a hot cup of tea and ten minutes alone, a glass of wine and your favorite show or book, a quick workout, a pedicure at the end of the week.  Don’t expect anyone else, even your husband, to look out for your needs.  You must make yourself a priority.  Taking care of yourself is the only way to stay balanced.  Go ahead and add yourself to that crazy list of things to-do!

Going back to work after having a baby may not be easy.  But, you can make it work for you by following these simple steps.  Just remember it’s a process and continue to live your best life in balance!

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Dear Working Mom,

Shopping. Cooking. Entertaining. Family.  The holidays can be stressful, but they don’t have to be.  You can beat the holiday stress and have a relaxed holiday season by following these five simple steps:

1- Do something for someone in need.  One of the best ways to avoid holiday stress is to remember why you’re grateful. No matter what challenges you are facing, someone would love to trade their problems for yours.  Each year, I make holiday gift bags for the homeless. It’s one of my favorite things to do because I know people really need it.  Find a cause you believe in or someone who really needs help.  Pay it forward!  If you go out to eat, look for a waiter or waitress to surprise with an extra-large tip.  Go to Wal-Mart and pay the balance on a layaway account of someone you don’t know.  Offer to babysit one afternoon for a mom in your inner circle.  See a single mom in a restaurant or grocery store and pay her bill.  Don’t underestimate the joy you can give and receive from helping others.

2 – Go giftless.  When we were dating, my husband and I stopped exchanging gifts on Christmas.  It was one of the best decisions we’ve made.  Buying gifts during the Christmas season can become stressful. For Tristan, I usually stick with one big gift and a couple of smaller items.  Since we’ve had kids, we rarely even buy gifts for our extended family.  With two families, it can become quite expensive and overwhelming.  In the absence of gifts, you can choose to focus on relationships and enjoying one another.  As an added benefit, you can avoid overspending!

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3 – Let them eat catered.  Working mom, don’t stress over cooking!  If you don’t like to cook or don’t have the time, order out.  Just make sure you place your order early.  You can even let the family have input on the menu and caterer.  It might be different for your family, but they will probably appreciate you being more relaxed.  I remember my grandmother being in the kitchen all day and night during the holidays.  While the food was always delicious, I don’t remember her having time to enjoy it.  She was usually exhausted from cooking for days! With someone else doing the cooking, you can enjoy your family without feeling overwhelmed.

4 – Prep everything beforehand.  I like to cook, so this works well for me.  If you don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen the night before and all day on the holiday, preparation is key.  You can buy pre-cut veggies to save time.  Or, cut up them up two days before and seal tight in the fridge.  Clean and season any meats one to two days before and allow them to marinate in the refrigerator. Make your fillings for pies or casseroles and have them ready to pour into the pan.  Once it is all prepped, you can cook it the night before or the morning of without being stressed.

5 – Keep it simple. Don’t over complicate the holidays by trying to do too much.  You could whip out your fine China, but won’t that make more work for you?  Don’t feel the need to impress anyone.  If you’re having guests, have them bring a covered dish.  Ditch the traditional meal and do something fun and simple, like grilling.  Make your life easy and use paper products.  Avoid having to clean your house afterwards by eating outside (I live in South Florida).  Don’t stress out trying to create a perfect experience or image for someone else.  Stay in balance by keeping it simple.

Working mom, you may actually have time off from work – so,take advantage!  Be thankful for the opportunity to share with friends and family.  You can have a stress-free holiday season and continue to live your best life in balance by keeping things simple.

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Dear Working Mom,

With all your mom duties, you rarely have a moment to yourself.  Add a job to the mix and free time sounds like a joke!  But, there are some ways to make more time for yourself.  You just need to have an open mind and be creative.

1 – Ditch the grocery store.  Okay, you have to buy groceries.  But, you don’t have to spend hours in the grocery store every week.  If it takes you two hours to shop in the store, order your groceries online and use the time to do something for yourself.  I order the night before and pickup the next day.   But on the way to pick up, I try to treat myself.  For this to work, the kids can’t go. So, plan ahead! Leave them with your husband or choose a time when they are in school or daycare. Use those grocery hours to get a pedicure, have a coffee date with a friend, or catch a movie.  Then, pick up your groceries on the way home.  You’ll be looking forward to “grocery shopping” every week!

2 – Use the time in between.  If you have an hour or two in between the time you leave work and pick up your kids, set aside some time for yourself. Chances are, you use the time to run errands for the family.  Not today!  Go sit in the park with your latte and people watch. Grab a book or magazine you’ve been wanting to read and do it.  Got an empty house? Go home and take a relaxing bath without someone bursting through the door with a question. I consistently use the time in between to exercise and write.  When you pick up your kids, you’ll be in a much better mood because you took some time for yourself.

3 – Take a personal day.  If you have vacation time at work, USE IT!  I try to save my time in case my kids get sick. But, sometimes, you need a mental health day.  When we live out of balance, we begin to feel the effects mentally and physically.  If you need a day, take it before it becomes an involuntary sick day. And, be sure to plan your day off to be just the way you want it. This is not the day to organize your closet or clean out the junk drawer.  This is your day to indulge.  Massage? Mani-pedi? Beach day? Cheesecake, anyone?

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4- Ask for help.  Is it possible you have not because you ask not? If you’re not asking for time, don’t expect to get it.   As a mom, you give off superhero vibes.  Your ability to get all things done may be misinterpreted. If you don’t ask for a break, your family may feel you don’t need one.  Use your support system to help you.  Letting your spouse know you need help isn’t a sign of weakness. It may even make your relationship better for him to know you need his help.  If you never ask for a break, the people in your inner circle may feel you don’t need one.  So, ask for what you need and get it!

5 – Embrace the simple things.  Some days, living a balanced life seems easy.  On those days, all the stars align, and everything falls into place.  On other days, it feels like I’m being stretched like a rubber band. When life is crazy hectic, just breathe.  Stop and know that no matter how chaotic your day was, you have an opportunity to start over tomorrow.  In the meantime, embrace the small blessings.  Find a funny show on television and laugh out loud.  Take an extra five minutes in the shower.  Sit still for ten minutes and focus on your breathing. Do a little flirting with your spouse.  And, most certainly, have a glass of wine! You’ll be surprised how little it takes to feel refreshed.

You could wait for life to slow down, but it probably won’t.  Make a decision today to find time for yourself and continue to live your best life in balance!

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Dear Working Mom,

With all you have going on, how can you achieve your goals?  Well, you can start by investing in yourself.  If I told you a $20 investment could yield a return of $1000, would you take the risk?  What if spending $100 today would net you $10,000 in a few years?  Would you be willing to spend $500 if you knew the future payoff could be $500,000?

I’m not talking about stock market investments or even playing the lottery. My question for you is – Are you investing in yourself?  What steps have you taken to ensure personal growth? Do you regularly read books? Have you attended any workshops, seminars, or conferences lately? Do you know your purpose in life?  Are you living life with passion?

You can achieve any goal if you’re willing to take a risk – on you.   While nice things make you happy for a time, they usually lose value and end up being replaced by something equally or more expensive. I’m challenging you to invest in the one thing you can be sure of – yourself! Following these three simple steps, will help you achieve any goal you set.

The first step is to write your goals down on paper.  It is important to make your vision visible.  If you have a goal, you can’t just sit around and expect it to accomplish itself.  You need to develop a plan for how you will accomplish it.  Writing your goals and posting them where you can see them frequently is a great form of inspiration and accountability.  When I began writing my first book, I wrote out a plan including how many pages I wanted to write each day.  I posted the paper on my refrigerator as a reminder to work on my goals each day.  Each time I opened the refrigerator, I saw my goals.  It not only kept me accountable, but it was motivation to keep going when I didn’t feel like writing.  I couldn’t ignore my goals because they were staring me in the face.  In recent years, vision boards have become very popular, and for good reason. I always post my vision board in my bedroom to help me stay focused on my current goals.  When I look over my past vision boards, most of the goals have been accomplished.  Writing your goals and making them visible is a great way to stay focused.

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The second step is to become a lifelong learner.  Whether you have worked in an industry for years or you are new to the game, there is always something to learn.  The top leaders in any field will tell you they read books, attend workshops, take eCourses, and listen to podcasts. If you want to accomplish your goal, you must be willing to learn from others who are doing what you want to do.  Over ten years ago, I attended a workshop, Fiction Writing for Lawyers.  It cost me $500, which was and still is, quite a bit of money.  It was one of the best investments I ever made because it challenged me to write for publication.  To date, I have written four books, and I’m still using some of the techniques I learned in the workshop.  Likewise, I continue to attend conferences and learn from other writers.  Whether it is reading a book for personal development, attending a workshop, or listening to a podcast, you should consistently seek opportunities to help you move to the next level.

The third step is to commit to your goal.  I can’t tell you how many people have asked me about writing a book.  However, when I see those same people a year later, they’re still talking about wanting to write without having taken any action. In those cases, there is no real commitment.  No matter what your goal is, it will cost you.  You will likely have to sacrifice time and money to achieve your goal.  Years ago, I was interested in joining the FBI.  As part of the application, I was required to pass a physical fitness test, which included completing a timed, one-and-a-half-mile run.  To prepare for the test, I ran five to six days a week.  I ran whether it was hot, cold, or raining.  I even ran on Christmas morning while the rest of my family was asleep!  For several weeks, I committed to running at 4:00 a.m. prior to going to work.  While I ultimately decided not to join the FBI, I did pass the physical fitness test.  I’m sure I would not have been able to pass without being committed.  There will always be distractions or reasons for you not to stay committed to your goal.  However, if you want to achieve your goals, you must be willing to sacrifice and refuse to give up.

Whether you realize it or not, you are going to invest your time and money in something.  Choose to be intentional and invest in what matters most.  Will it cost you?  Most certainly.  But, believe me, you are worth it!  As successful investor, Warren Buffet said, “The most important investment you can make is in yourself.”

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