You’re going back to work! But, you’ve gotten used to being up at 2 a.m. with your baby, walking around in a milk stained tee shirt, and doing absolutely nothing to your hair! What do you do?
Maybe you’re excited to have the chance to leave the house and get back to a structured routine. Maybe you feel guilty about leaving your baby with someone else while you work. Or, maybe you’re sad to have to leave your baby at all. Either way, you can expect to feel a range of mixed emotions and it’s okay. Here are six things you can do to make your transition easier:
1 – Give yourself time. Whether it’s getting up earlier to play with the baby or pump before you go to work, give yourself a little extra time. The last thing you want is to feel rushed or frantic on those first days back to work. It will probably take you longer to get ready, so plan for it. There are bottles to be made, diapers to be changed, and bags to be packed. If you must drop your baby off at a daycare or sitter, allow time to review instructions and for a lingering goodbye.
If you are breastfeeding, you may want to nurse the baby before you leave. On my first day back, I wanted to spend some one-on-one time with my son before I left. So, I got up a little earlier to breastfeed and just gaze into his eyes. The extra time with him definitely made me feel better.
2 – Expect change. Your mornings, your workday, and your evenings will feel different after having the baby – and, they should! Don’t expect to go back to the schedule you had before the baby because that schedule won’t work anymore. When you have an additional person to consider, life changes. Before having my first son, I had hours of time after work to spend on exercise, writing, or whatever I wanted to do. Once he was born, I had to establish a schedule based on the time I wanted to pick him up from daycare, get him settled at home, and leave time to connect with my husband. Now, that I have two kids, I am even more intentional with my schedule.
Initially, you might feel like you’re on autopilot and just trying to get through the day. But, eventually, you’ll adjust to your new routine.
3 – Ease back into it. If you work Monday through Friday, go back to work on a Thursday instead of Monday. Going back to work later in the week allows you to ease back into working with a weekend break around the corner. It will also help reduce any anxiety you feel about having to make it through an entire week. Two days of work with two days off doesn’t sound so bad, right? With my second son, I went back to work the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. The next day was a teacher planning day, so there was hardly anyone at the school. Then, I had Thursday through Sunday off. Knowing I would have several days off to spend time with my baby made me feel less anxious about going back to work. So, be strategic when you choose your return date.
4 – Start daycare early. If you can, start daycare the week before you return to work. Check with the daycare or sitter to see if you can leave the baby for a few hours or just a couple of days the first week. Starting daycare early will help you and the baby adjust to the new routine. It will also give your baby the chance to get familiar with his new surroundings. It will also give you time to determine if it’s a good fit. With my first son, I initially started daycare three times a week. Although my aunt is living with us and caring for my second son, I asked her to come a week early so we could all get adjusted. You can avoid the stress of going back to work and leaving your baby if you start the process early.
5 – Set boundaries. Expect your co-workers to ask about your experience or ask to see pictures when you return. Set boundaries about what you’re willing to share so you don’t feel awkward or frustrated when asked. Whether you had an amazing birth experience or one that was frightening and stressful, it’s your personal experience. Decide ahead of time what you are willing to discuss, if anything at all. If you’re going to share pictures, select the ones you plan to share and put them in a folder so you don’t have to scroll through your camera roll each time someone asks. People may also ask how you feel about being back at work or leaving the baby. Again, it’s your personal experience. Keep it simple by saying –I’m grateful and just enjoying this phase of life.
You may also need to set boundaries about what you’re willing to do. I decided to let go of certain responsibilities at my job because I knew they would require more time than I had to give. While it cost me a couple of thousand dollars, having my time was more important. I used to stay late after work and leave feeling frustrated and out of balance. Now, I leave on time because I’m determined to stick to my family schedule.
6 – Take care of yourself. Between work and family, it’s easy to ignore your own needs. Try to do something for yourself every day – a bubble bath, a hot cup of tea and ten minutes alone, a glass of wine and your favorite show or book, a quick workout, a pedicure at the end of the week. Don’t expect anyone else, even your husband, to look out for your needs. You must make yourself a priority. Taking care of yourself is the only way to stay balanced. Go ahead and add yourself to that crazy list of things to-do!
Going back to work after having a baby may not be easy. But, you can make it work for you by following these simple steps. Just remember it’s a process and continue to live your best life in balance!
